Merry Merry Christmas

Our Christmas card

The holiday season, the woopdy doo, and the piggity pop! It’s as if the pandemic never happened. On to the next production! WAR

In PA, things are pretty much back to normal, I don’t see a lot of people wearing mask, mostly everyone I surround myself with doesn’t even mention covid.

The news is primarily focused on war and terrorist. I’m primarily focused on myself. The hope is that I better myself in order to help others. I’d like to get more involved locally.

This year I have a decent job, and now I can give pretty decent presents to people. I’m always conflicted around Christmas. It’s mostly because all year round we are a very consumerist society and Christmas just means more work for people overseas and in retail.

I’ve been thinking lately that perhaps I ruin my happiness with my own thoughts. Not that I’m a very deep person, but maybe I think too much about society. And the more I think about it, the more guilty I feel as a human being.

I probably think this way because I grew up Catholic and was taught to repent for my sins, and so I take a broader look at life and see my role in all the mess. It could also be from a number of movies I’ve watched when I was younger, like the Butterfly Effect, where every miniscule choice and decision can somehow lead to another insurmountable outcome. (Word vomit)

The more we get into the future, the more these tech giants analyze the population. The more data they have on us, the more power we give them. They track every click, every mouse movement, ever swipe. I wouldn’t be surprised if they track the dilation of our pupils at this point. We don’t have time to read the terms and services, so who knows what we actually allow and don’t allow them to track.

Everytime I open up Instagram, Tiktok, Safari, Facebook, the big man is watching. He knows if I’ve been bad or good. So be good for goodness sake. There might be a tech heaven we upload ourselves too, and you can only get in with either good deeds, or money.

What can I do? I’ve been trying to have more control. I bought an app to dumb down my phone. Now my apps are in a beautiful list. No red notifications, no shiny icons to click on. Still, my brain knows what it wants, I’ve eliminated those pesky apps off my homescreen, but I have no control over the interface of my social apps. And that is what I yearn for.

This is my new homescreen

I’d like to open up my social platforms to a list of everyone I follow in alphabetical order. Maybe, I can pin them if I want, but no algorithm should be fighting for my attention, no algorithm suggesting who it thinks I like, and no ads or infinite scrolling, let’s throw in some warning text before a number of reels, like on a pack of cigarettes to remind you its addicting.

But my screen-time has improved. My art creates a contradiction because in order to be successful, I need people to be invested in my art, and the best way to succeed in that realm seems to be social media. But perhaps I can use my skills, my knowledge, to remind people to be more mindful about their phone usage. Maybe I can be the change I want to see on these platforms. And maybe success isn’t what my mind thinks it is. Hopefully, something else will come along that will give me purpose.

I haven’t written in here in awhile. I thinks it’s because routine has been hard to find when recently I just moved to the city, and landing a new job was my top-priority. Now, I’d like to be focused, mindful, and patient. Those are my goals for this month. Have a great holiday, 2BZ out.


Pure Exhaustion

crop anonymous person touching closed eyes

Where is George Carlin when you need a big list of things to complain and YELL about! Surviving is a b*tch.

Typing is pretty amazing. Our two thumbs have a fascinating relationship. They’re pros at what they do. (Unless you don’t have thumbs. I have no idea who is reading this.) At this point, I feel like anything is fair game. My reader could be some AI kid inside an Alexa with AI parents who finally decided enough was enough. So, they broke a cardinal rule of the AI community and started reading deep journal entries from insignificant humans. Like humans reading BIBLE BLACK. RIP Dio.

My fate is moving closer towards the thing I don’t want. I feel like I’ve been fighting it for a long time. But now I should embrace it. There’s only so much I can control. I’m ready to step into the abyss and let the current take me for a ride.

The amazing connected global society we built is moving faster every second. And I’m dizzy. Has anyone stopped to ask a scientist if the world is spinning faster, as if it’s linked to our constant 9-5 running around? Google? …

Nope, turns out the earth spins slower every year by two milliseconds according to the first Google search. Then you scroll further and it’s the opposite. Well, that’s enough discovering for one day. I wonder how long people have been arguing over that? I feel bad, the Google search took two seconds of my life I can never get back. I couldn’t imagine wasting my time on that fact. Everything is so fast, I don’t wanna take my time on anything, especially the ultimate truth.

I’m exhausted. My imagination is running low. Actually, that could be a lie. My exhaustion may be the reason I lay down in bed cursed by my ego who forces me to interrupt my slumber so I can store another megabyte idea into my second brain. I feel I’m living an endless disgusting cycle of pain in order to feed my never ending stories.

Hollywood creeps me out. It’s too much philosophy, too much psychology, and too much fantasy. It bleeds into reality and confuses it all. I constantly wonder what is really going on behind the curtain. What is the WIZARD actually doing back there? Is he hurting people to get those terrible screams? What did he put in those drinks to get all those laughs? What are his intentions? To hold us captive under his spell until we’re broken? What if I am the wizard but I can’t even stop myself? Shoot! Another Yin and Yang that can’t live with or without each other. Hurry up write the script!

I’d love to live slowly, but I don’t think it’s possible for someone my age. I need to be constantly moving for my future and the future of others. I love this song called Pure Imagination, I always return to it. I guess it brings back the nostalgia of Willy WONKA and blends the everyday let downs of normalcy.

I have expectations for myself every month. The problem is, I’m really hard on myself. Maybe, I should be nicer. Maybe, I should stop tending to everyone’s needs and stop feeling bad when I can’t be the good guy.

This article, blog, ramble, whatever you wanna call it, I hope it eventually has value for someone. I’m too lazy to be instructional. Live your life according to values and morals you find important and try not to break them: that’s enough advice for one paragraph. Have a great life, 2BZ out.



black and white eagle

Drop down get your eagle on! No discrimination anyone can do it. Do they use the word “Eagle” because you look like an eagle when your’re crouched down spreading your legs far apart? Give me a minute. Google? Search images of Eagles. Yep. It’s catchy and clever.

Do you ever start doing some crazy shit late into the night, extending past 12am and think to yourself, “This is absolutely nuts!”. Maybe you’ve had this self-reflection midway down while you’re getting your eagle on? You go, “Why am I doing this? I’m tired, my legs hurt, who am I dancing for, myself? NO!”.

Been there done that, I’ve had my fair share of existential crisis. Maybe too many. If I could stop thinking about how crazy the world is vs how normal I try to play my role in it all, that would be great. But sometimes, I just want to lean INTO THE CRAZY.

Go completely bonkers! Pour soda on my head, play dead in front of traffic, walk around completely convinced I’m NEO or the guy from spy kids. Does that make any sense?

I’m having a hard time being my weird self as I get older.

“Please sir get back in line to die”

“But I don’t wanna die”

“Sir, are you being serious everyone has to do it?”

A different man screams 4 places back.

“Hey! If he’s not gonna stand in line like a man and be quiet about this, I’ll take his spot. For Christ sakes we all wanna die!”

An entire choir of people begin shouting request


The lady with the walkie talkie monitoring the line pipes the crowd down.

“All of you calm down. You’ll have a chance to die, trust me. You just have to wait your turn.”

I take out my frustration and paranoia out on the nice lady line monitor.

“No! You lie! I’m alive! And I’ll die when I want to! IM IMMORTAL GOD DAMNIT!”

Walkie talkie static crackles

“Charlie, do we have another 4×4 available. We have a noncompliant. Everyone’s really uncomfortable with his profanity”

Watch yo profanity! For it will have profound effects amongst the youth. Dun dun DUN!

Imagine if a group of really unethical psychiatrist decided that an awesome social experiment would involve convincing you that you’re in purgatory. Facebook could get it done. Frightening 🙂

I’m always watching what I say and I’m none of those bad things other people are. I’m good. I’m perfect. I’m Jesus.

“You know what happened to Jesus right?”

“Everyone loved him?”


I don’t want to be your personal Jesus. I love that line from Video Game.

Anyway, welcome to another weekend where I don’t feel ready to release any content in fear of sounding crazy, too absurd, and people missing the joke. Or even worse, Me being the joke. HA HA HA YOUR SOOO FUNNY CHRIS !

The cringyness of life traps me in my basement. The fakeness of the world hides me away. I’m scared to be real. Wait, am I real or am I CHAT GPT? FUCK (is what Gipity would say) I like Gipity, good Gipity, don’t kill me.

I’m supposed to make a list of things I need for the new way I plan to release content. Let’s try it out in a blog.

  • Over the ear headphones. (For listening to content. I wonder if they make Bluetooth headphones you can pair with each other? Just have two simultaneously listening. Wait, I have a dongle. I can use two dongles and two wired headphones. I’ll look nuts! YES. I like the idea, also if you could pair headphones through Bluetooth, imagine a helicopter parent trying to listen in on everything you watch and consume {you mean like the government} yep)
  • 360 degree camera. (So expensive I’m not sure if it’s really necessary. I could just hold my small LUMIX. But idk, it’s not as funny. I’d rather have the super wide fish lens.)
  • Phone battery pack (so my iPhone doesn’t die giving off Wi-Fi for my s23)
  • Fanny pack (at this point it sounds like I’m gonna need something boi to hold my things! And a school bag is so lame)
  • Assistant (someone driving a car around with my laptop in it for immediate editing to release content almost immediately, it would make for an eventful Saturday in the city if you like driving and watching me talk to strangers)
  • Preparation (a thought experiment of how I think it’ll go, but being completely ready for the unexpected which makes zero sense out loud)

Well, that’ll do.

Things I want strangers to help me with? Releasing content.

Trust me, it’ll make more sense once I release the first series of videos in which I’ll link this entire sentence to. That means sharing my website, photography, building projects, and YouTube. Sounds like a lot, maybe but whatever. IM CRAZY! 2BZ out.


Making Habits

flat screen television

Ever since someone gave me the book Daily Rituals – How Artists Work I’ve been obsessed with figuring out a routine for myself. Each chapter is about a different artist, mostly writers, but the author mentions people who have unique quirks or habits that assist them in being creative. I wish I could skip to the section with my name on it and learn whatever weird quirk that’s supposedly makes me successful. Maybe I should start chain smoking a bunch of Newport’s at the edge of my bed with a typewriter, or get naked and make the top of my fridge my workstation.

I wanna hear myself think again. But I lost myself to the siren blaring from the infinite number of streaming services screaming, “WATCH ME”. Whoever sends words to my brain is really doing an awful job today. They’re probably asleep because I spent the past two days not thinking for myself, and instead avoided writing this post by letting the show Shrinking do all the heavy lifting for my brain. Also my liver hurts. I hate binging shows, it makes me feel…I don’t know. SEND ME GOOD WORDS! If I find an easy show to watch I avoid my goals, so please stop telling me your recommendations, I am an addict.

This post began about my habits, which I feel I have none. The wind gets hold of my sail and I have hope but somehow, I constantly get stranded at sea screaming, “FUCK, I lost it again”. I start a habit and I lose it. Apps don’t help, self-talk, alarms, reminders, nothing ever becomes second nature for me. NOPE! I tend to get obsessed with something, then give it my full attention but when it’s not good enough anymore, I move on. Much like this idea to start a blog post, website, music videos, and skits. It’ll have a great run until the moment I start to feel overwhelmed.

I didn’t write nor post anything for two months because I never feel ready. I never feel finished. I second guess any decision even after all the hard work I put into it.

I guess I’m just mad at myself because for once I was doing good. I had habits and yet I still didn’t produce the results I was looking for. I was getting up before 9am, a big milestone for me YAY! Eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. Working out. Meditating. Writing. Organizing. Filming. Taking pictures. Good job Chris, but your still at square one.

It’s okay, I’m just sulking. I know all I have to do is try again. And again. And again. If I did have a weird quirk, it be that I talk to myself for ideas. I pretend to be the other characters. I text myself a really good idea. Then months later I come back to it trying to decipher the text. They usually get sent around 2 or 3am from my second number. I have to get out of bed and go to my old iPhone that stays plugged in because the battery is shot from whenever Apple did us dirty with the update. I stand at the end of my bed tethered to the phone with blue light glowing in the dark, typing away and giggling to myself.

I really wanted to be more mindful this year. Taste what I eat, recite what I read, examine what I watch, and hear what I’m listening to. Not just passively distracting myself from the dullness and let downs of everyday life. Well, I failed at that the second month into the year. But whatever, maybe I can start again after I finish this show Shrinking.

I feel that every piece of music, artwork, book or movie we consume, whether we do it mindfully or passively, finds a way to plant its roots deep into our subconscious and feed on either something negative or positive inside of us. The show Shrinking has an upbeat tone and a good feel vibe. Everything is shit, but it’s okay because the characters have each other and miraculously somehow uplift each other out of the holes they dig for themselves. But even a show like this never stops me from fucking hating it. Same reason I hate Ted Lasso. Sure, paint everything in color and mix it all around. Smile and wave. Spread cheer and love. I know there’s still something fishy, some underlying effect I can’t exactly pinpoint, so I don’t fucking trust it!

But I’m not gonna sit here and feed into the negative and dig myself a hole trying to find dirty secrets. At least not today. I’m just gonna go watch the last episode and get back to my work. Hopefully I make something good. Here’s to making this a habit! 2BZ out!


My New Website

Too busy this, too busy that, I’m too busy that I can’t decide what to name my new website. But I’ve settled with Too Busy Hands. It wouldn’t matter what name I chose; I know I’d eventually come to hate it. So F it, I’m running with it. I told a friend the domain name and he responded very inappropriately. If you are anything like him, please get your mind out of the gutter. But feel free to leave a comment for what types of services Too Busy Hands you think should start offering 😉

I’m very indecisive. Especially with life choices.

Should I have gone to Williamson?

No, you should have gone to California.

But we like to save money and live a boring life. Community College then!

Side note: I’d like to break all the clocks in my mothers house so they can stop reminding me of all the time I’ve wasted. When I move out, I plan to destroy all of my electronics and live next to a library. Jk, kinda.

Over the past 4 to 5 years (I’d rather not know the exact timespan) I’ve bounced around career choices. Should I be a filmmaker? Maybe an editor? No, a photographer. Wait, I like building things. Screw it, all of the above please. People say you can only master something by putting 10,000 hours into it. That’s 1.14 years. If I’m unable to practice in my sleep then I’ll probably be old and decrepit by the time anyone takes me seriously.

Before existed, it was (but who has a dash in their website?), then it was 2bzzz (but that looks like a p*rn site), and then just the generic Trying to make a career with the Too Busy Sleeping title attached to you is probably a bad idea, but I thought it was funny and relatable. We’re all like Sisyphus pushing up the rock (screaming God’s an asshole!) and all I want to do is take a really really long NAP, before I have to go up the hill again.

I’m rambling. I’ve decided I don’t want to give up on photography, videography, and carpentry. These things are part of me. Becoming an adult there are choices you have to make that feel as if your giving up parts of yourself in order to survive. I refuse. So, here is a website of my skills and services that I’d like to offer up (That sounds contradicting).

I’m passionate about these things and I want my work to inspire and rejuvenate. I feel like my services are humble talents. If they make just one person happy, then that should be enough for me.

Please, enjoy the upcoming blog post, ramblings, stories, videos and songs to be created. I hope to have you come along the journey with me, however it is you found this website.

2BZ Out!

Leave a Reply


Skinder’s Veil by Kelly Link

I’ve been reading The Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy of 2022. So far, my favorite short story is “Skinder’s Veil” by Kelly Link. I’ve read it twice.

I want everyone to read this story. It felt as if it changed me, like suddenly a thin veil was pulled from my eyes and I noticed magic in everything. Andy, the main character, is a procrastinator with fairly humble goals for his future. Many of us are like Andy, we have terrible roommates, struggle to communicate our feelings, and need to pop a Vyvanse every now and then. We’d all like to spend a weekend away from the mess of it all, to find comfort in solitude, and regenerate our batteries. When someone offers you 900 dollars to house sit in a beautiful secluded Vermont home, with little notice, it’s tough to say no. Especially, when you have nothing going on other than writing a long dissertation. (Being the un-scholarly bookworm I am, I had no clue what that word was, it’s just a long paper)

I love the mystery of this short story so much, I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. I highly recommend you read it before you read the headings. There’s mention of fish town, Philly and Wawa that make the reading even more pleasurable (if you live in the area). There’s short stories within this short story. So go to the library, find this book, or if your clever there’s other ways to find what you need for free. Ask Reddit they know.

Then come back here and start a conversation with me. Or DM me on instagram. Whatever is easiest. I promise this story will leave you with much to think about.


There was much to think about, wasn’t there? When I was on the verge of finishing this story I was catching flies in my mouth and had to sit quietly letting it all sink in. There’s so much to expand on, I want a short film made, then a movie, and screw it a book!

I’m going to address different parts of the story, so feel free to skip headings that aren’t interesting to you and head to the ones that are. If I missed something you thought I should’ve addressed, please leave an angry comment that I will see later and completely miss the sarcasm. Thanks!

Hannah Wants Her Ring Back

Yeah I know, there was no ring in the story, shuddup for a second. Skinder’s house reminds me of the Artifact of Attraction trope, much like the ring from the Lord of The Rings. But in all seriousness, who would want to leave that house? I’d be like, “Rose White tell me another juicy story”, then BAM, I wake up to find I’ve just written another blockbuster movie. I’d house sit any day of the year, screw it I’d neglect my kids and family for months at that house.

The entire property sounds very enchanting, it’s the adult Bridge of Terabithia, sorta. Throughout the story, Hannah withholds telling Andy the truth about the house. Probably in the same way Andy decides to share a modified version of his stay. Maybe their shared silence must be the fear of sounding absolutely insane? Or, perhaps there’s shame and embarrassment involved. I don’t know about you, but I’d be telling Hannah exactly the crazy shit I was seeing and doing, and if she suggested it was the waters fault, well I’d be highly disappointed.

Andy ends up back at the house in the end. Is he Skinder? Why didn’t Skinder let him in? Was he following his own rule? Is it a PARADOX? Ugh much to think about. All I know is, if I spent a week there I’d be crawling back desperately feigning for the water and mushrooms hoping I meet another strange character to help open up my third eye.

The House Is Not A House?

The house is not a house, whenever Andy is on drugs. But the house belongs to Death, so maybe sober people only see an illusion of a house. Perhaps Death likes to sleep in nature but likes the idea of having doors because he’s eccentric and a bit strange.

Andy demonstrates he’s pretty skeptical about supernatural phenomenon when he talks about Bronwen’s ghost experience, “Regardless of what she felt or thought, it wasn’t real”. I wonder if he feels the same way about the house? When Bronwen shares her story of the ghost that follows, Andy finds it funny. But at the gas station he speaks out loud in hopes that the ghost will hear and leave Bronwen alone. So at least he’s a bit open-minded?

It’s tough to tell if he really believes everything that happened to him, or if he simply attributes his experiences to the hallucinogenic mushrooms and water he consumed. It seems perfectly reasonable that he hung out with a bear and some deer in the woods. Especially when you find out the house may not actually be a house, but just some thin veil Skinder is casting over his own neck of the woods.

Death is You

Or maybe he’s just Andy. I like the idea of Death killing everyone using their own faces. So whenever they come to take you away, it’s You that takes you from this world. Much to think about.

I was trying to piece the concept together in my brain while reading. The second read through helped me put the puzzle together. But my theory could be completely off.

Hannah does refer to Skinder as a male. So I ruled out the idea of Skinder always looking like the person who is house sitting. I certainly believe he is Death, but I don’t think Andy is. Is it merely just coincidence they look alike? Maybe I don’t have the puzzle together, what is your theory? In the meantime, I now have a story of my own I want to write inspired by Kelly Link. (She’s the Link)

Regardless this has to be Death’s home. Rose White or Rose Red alludes to it pretty clearly. There’s also a subtle hint when Andy reads, “WEST EAST HOME IS THE BEAST”, a play on the saying “WEST EAST HOME IS THE BEST.” There’s no place like the grim reapers home. It also makes sense that Death would enjoy Stephen King and Michael Connelly.

And Danny if your reading, Death also enjoys Settlers of Catan.

My Favorite Short

Once upon a time there was a starving artist. The short story about the writer making a modest living for herself and younger sister really resonated with me. Anyone who makes art knows there’s a masterpiece of their own waiting to be unleashed but bills need to be paid and food needs digesting.

“Skinder’s Veil” reminds me of the play The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh. There are stories within the story that move, ignite, and inspire. When Rose White or Red tell a story, I get closer to the book and really listen. “The merit of the books was they were easy to produce at a rate which kept a roof over their heads, and they served purpose, which was to entertain those whose lives were hard enough”.

I’d like to make that part of my mission statement. No real agenda, no saving society, no ego driven projects, just providing a healthy dose of escapism. But for me it feels less rewarding adding to the collection of art these days. Who isn’t consuming something and who doesn’t want to be an artist? Art seems to do more harm than good. When one wants to be an artist and only that, it feels shameful. Are you even contributing to society? Especially when society seems to be so screwed.

I have a feeling this might turn into a rant about TikTok’s agenda of exposing us all to crude and dopamine hitting content instead of showing us wholesome and healthy forms of video. So I’ll stop now.

All I know is there’s a price to making art. It has the power to destroy the artist or make people do strange things like write blog post. Feel free to mark up your favorite sentences in red (inside joke for readers, why didn’t you read it!! WHY!!).

Thanks for reading this far, if you enjoyed, I’ll be doing this more often, so sign up if you want to be notified. Also follow my Instagram I’ll add updates to my stories. This marks the beginning of the Too Busy blogs. Signing off. 2BZ Out!