Pure Exhaustion

crop anonymous person touching closed eyes

Where is George Carlin when you need a big list of things to complain and YELL about! Surviving is a b*tch.

Typing is pretty amazing. Our two thumbs have a fascinating relationship. They’re pros at what they do. (Unless you don’t have thumbs. I have no idea who is reading this.) At this point, I feel like anything is fair game. My reader could be some AI kid inside an Alexa with AI parents who finally decided enough was enough. So, they broke a cardinal rule of the AI community and started reading deep journal entries from insignificant humans. Like humans reading BIBLE BLACK. RIP Dio.

My fate is moving closer towards the thing I don’t want. I feel like I’ve been fighting it for a long time. But now I should embrace it. There’s only so much I can control. I’m ready to step into the abyss and let the current take me for a ride.

The amazing connected global society we built is moving faster every second. And I’m dizzy. Has anyone stopped to ask a scientist if the world is spinning faster, as if it’s linked to our constant 9-5 running around? Google? …

Nope, turns out the earth spins slower every year by two milliseconds according to the first Google search. Then you scroll further and it’s the opposite. Well, that’s enough discovering for one day. I wonder how long people have been arguing over that? I feel bad, the Google search took two seconds of my life I can never get back. I couldn’t imagine wasting my time on that fact. Everything is so fast, I don’t wanna take my time on anything, especially the ultimate truth.

I’m exhausted. My imagination is running low. Actually, that could be a lie. My exhaustion may be the reason I lay down in bed cursed by my ego who forces me to interrupt my slumber so I can store another megabyte idea into my second brain. I feel I’m living an endless disgusting cycle of pain in order to feed my never ending stories.

Hollywood creeps me out. It’s too much philosophy, too much psychology, and too much fantasy. It bleeds into reality and confuses it all. I constantly wonder what is really going on behind the curtain. What is the WIZARD actually doing back there? Is he hurting people to get those terrible screams? What did he put in those drinks to get all those laughs? What are his intentions? To hold us captive under his spell until we’re broken? What if I am the wizard but I can’t even stop myself? Shoot! Another Yin and Yang that can’t live with or without each other. Hurry up write the script!

I’d love to live slowly, but I don’t think it’s possible for someone my age. I need to be constantly moving for my future and the future of others. I love this song called Pure Imagination, I always return to it. I guess it brings back the nostalgia of Willy WONKA and blends the everyday let downs of normalcy.

I have expectations for myself every month. The problem is, I’m really hard on myself. Maybe, I should be nicer. Maybe, I should stop tending to everyone’s needs and stop feeling bad when I can’t be the good guy.

This article, blog, ramble, whatever you wanna call it, I hope it eventually has value for someone. I’m too lazy to be instructional. Live your life according to values and morals you find important and try not to break them: that’s enough advice for one paragraph. Have a great life, 2BZ out.